I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
