dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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