Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Blood and glitter go together right?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
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