I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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