we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
