Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
