Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Randomize
