I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
