think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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