She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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