Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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