oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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