so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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