Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
