there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
