Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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