There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
