hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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