I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
stop calling my apartment porn island.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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