After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
