Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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