Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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