I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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