My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
