my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize