she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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