I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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