The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
