fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Green mimosas i think yes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
