I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
