Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
