i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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