Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
