So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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