We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
