You just made me feel so damn special
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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