i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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