I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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