Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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