maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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