"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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