Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize