Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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