oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
