Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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