Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
