But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
