i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
