ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
