She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
