Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
This toilet bowl is my home.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
