he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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