It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize