I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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