Non-Jews are for practice
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
