she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
