We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
