i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
